Lou Oxford

For my sister

On September 4^th, it will be ten years since I lost my big sister, Elizabeth Rose Oxford, to Hodgkin Lymphoma. I want to use this anniversary as an opportunity to celebrate her life and to help others in her situation. So, if you will, let me tell you a bit about my big sis.

Elizabeth was a hardworking, tenacious and beautiful person. She always had strong values and was hard on herself to live up to them. Even when she was a young child, she was so responsible and always looked out for her younger siblings. She was the dux of her high school, got a full scholarship to study engineering, she spoke German and learnt pole dancing. She wanted to live and work in Germany, and was well on the way to making that happen. 

She had graduated a year prior and had been working for just a year when she was diagnosed. It was so hard on her, I can't imagine what she went through. She fought so hard through all the illness and treatments. Despite how hard it was for her, she always tried to shield my family from worry. Every time a treatment would stop working, she would keep it a secret until she found something else to try. That's the type of person she was, always trying to be strong for the people around her. It both fills me with pride and breaks my heart.

Despite an initially good prognosis, the cancer kept coming back and the treatment options gradually got exhausted. Seeing the way she faced her own mortality, seeing her grow and bloom right up until the end, I feel so grateful to be able to call Elizabeth my sister.

Even after she knew her prognosis was terminal, she went back to uni to study psychology. Because she could. Because she wanted to get the most out of life. And, as she said, because you don't have to pay HECS when you're dead. 

Despite fighting with everything she had, she lost her four-year-long battle with cancer, on September 4th, 2014. Words cannot describe what her friends and family went through after we lost her. Nor can words describe how much we miss her. Cliché, I know, but it's true.

Being the baby sibling, I always looked up to her, and I’m comforted knowing that many parts of her live on in me. At the same time, there is a perpetual void in my life as a result of her absence. There is regret for things that were left unsaid, longing for what could have been, and that particular feeling you get when looking at a loved-one’s now empty chair at the family dinner table.

I wish she could still pursue her dreams. I wish she could enjoy the fruits of all her hard work. I wish she could enjoy exploring the world like she always did. But she can’t.

I wish I could tell my big sister how grateful I am to her for always looking out for me and for all the things she taught me. I wish I could tell her that despite our bickering, I still always adored her. I wish I could tell her how very much I love her. But I can’t.

I can’t change any of that, but I can help change things for other people and families. I don’t want anyone to have to live through what my sister went through, I don’t want any parent to have to bury their own child, and I don’t want any kid to have to grow up without their sibling. With your help, we can help keep families together - we can help find better treatments and provide better support to those living with cancer. 

On September 4^th, in memory of my beautiful sister, I will be shaving my head to raise money for blood cancer research. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, but it’s taken me a while to get up the courage, so your support means the world to me.

Regardless of whether you are able to donate or not, thank you for reading this. Awareness is also very important, and by reading this, awareness is spreading. I would be very grateful if you shared this fundraiser on your social media or with others you know, and any donation, no matter how big or small, is deeply appreciated. 

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your love and support.

- Lou

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For my big sister,

Elizabeth (Lizzy Poo) Rose Oxford,

16/12/1987 - 04/09/2014

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